The two former Council areas of Gundagai and Cootamundra have been unable to agree on much after being forcibly merged on May 12 2016, nearly 5 years ago. That was until today. In a Stoppress moment for our printers, The Times was able to cover an extraordinary meeting which was held at the Muttama Offices this afternoon. With Covid looking to hit domestic tourism like a sledgehammer, Councillors put their heads together to not only think outside the box, but to incorporate the dog on the Tuckerbox. The two distinctly different communities have come to the conclusion that they would agree to a swap of the Dog on the Tuckerbox and Bradman’s Birthplace for a period of 1 year with both landmarks set to be returned on April 1 2022. The dog, to be transported by ute to Coota’s Main Street and Bradman’s birth place to head down the road on a low loader to be placed near the service centre on the Hume.

Cootamundra Local Darren Joker said, “Look, we thought the idea was pretty out there, but the State Government’s decision to make us forcibly merge with Gundy took the cake anyway. Anything is possible. They’ve thrown a fortune at us but there’s still going to be a rate rise. Steph Cooke, told us it would be apples, but she hasn’t crossed the floor yet as promised to vote us out of this bloody merger and she hasn’t moved a Notice of Motion to do so either. Can cut a ribbon though! Soon she won’t have to, because the current government will lose their majority in the lower house.”

The Times contacted The local Rugby League Clubs for some factual evidence surrounding murmurs that a merger could be on the cards for April 1 2022 before the commencement of the Group 9 season.

Tigers Rep Martyn Kay said, “We have oodles of players, in fact, 70 turned up to preseason training. We won’t be agreeing to have a half black and gold, half blue and white jumper if we have to merge clubs like we had to Councils. Gladys said if we did merge she would come out and watch us play but she can’t fool us, she spent all the money on stadiums 4 hours away.”

The propsed jumper for the merger of the Gundagai Tigers and The Coota Bulldogs.

Coota Bulldogs spokesman Ted Miller said, “Don’t know if we can trust those Gundagundians, There’s meant to be a track winding back to an old fashioned shack but you follow the track and a bunch of blokes jump out with door knobs in pillow cases, give you a hiding and make you sign up for the Tigers.”

Those wishing to say goodbye to their respective landmarks can do so when April fools day jokes end at midday April 1 on Parker Street.

Satire and Ready for April 1 Readers.